It was years ago you see, that my humanity was taken from me. I surrendered in a way that seems logical by definition in its demand that I no longer refer to myself, or even think of myself as, a person. Since I am now an object, chattel of limited value, an animal, I think of myself as an it a thing to be used, or not, by my owners or their agents. By the end of this sentence, I will no longer refer to myself as an I, instead it will refer to itself as just what it is, a thing, and use the proper words to do so. Ahhh. What a relief. To write of itself as other than an it, is stressful, reminding it of the way it used to think when it was a person, and the nightmarish pain that it now associates with the struggle it put up in fighting its surrender. You see, it's not that it lives without pain--on the contrary, it lives with pain every moment of its life. Just that it understands now that pain, abuse, degradation, humiliation, torture, punishment, service, and solitude are. Se khub roga ebong khub kom heigter chhilo 5’3 ” Othocho amar height ta 5′ 5″, Se dekhteo bhalo chhilo na. Sharirik dik theke dekhle kalo rang aar sukna chehra .Tar sobav tao kemon jeno chhilo amta amta kare katha bolto, khub lajja peto. Aamr biyer prothom ratrei bujhte parlam je se ekta dhwojobhong take kono mate o purush bala jai na. Kintu chhoto shohorer meye bale kauke kichhu bolte parlam na aar kichhu korte o parlam na. Amar swastho ta khub bhalo ebong dekhte besh sunder shorirer goron ta nikhut, amar bandhovira amake sexy balei dakto.Amar deher chahida metanor janyo ami amar bor ke jadiye dhare nitam kintu se eto beshi lajuk chhilo je amar kachhe dhara dito na.Kono rokome 2 bochhor katalam, joubaner jalai chhotfot kortam. Jemon amader modhobriti privarer sasur sasuri ra bachcha r janyo bale thik temoni i amakeo bala suru korlo. Kintu eita amar ikhtiyarer baire chhilo je hetu amar swami ekta dhojobhongo tar bachcha poida korar kono murod chhilo na. Kintu ei katha ta ami mukh.
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